There were two actors in my class a while ago doing a romantic scene in which the two characters were courting each other. I saw they were “skimming rocks” in the scene, just hitting the service … playing it safe.
After they finished, I asked the man what he was working for. He replied “my college girlfriend.” I asked the woman what she was working for to which she replied “my ex-boyfriend.” I just looked at them for a few moments and asked the man. “Do you find her (his scene partner) attractive?” He got flush red, and said “yes” while experiencing a high level of embarrassment. Then I asked the woman if she found her scene partner attractive. She looked like a lizard shedding her skin and said “yes”. After a few minutes of doing a relationship workout including their new expressed feelings with each other I gave the man a simple exercise. “Pick her up. Try to win her over”.
At first it was like watching root-canal … picking someone up is simply not comfortable for most people. Then after a while encouraging selfless workouts they started to have a unique experience. He found himself fully invested in “getting the gal” and she found herself fully invested in being courted by him. The stakes were much higher because the scene became highly personal. He could be rejected … not some fictitious character, but HIM. She became fully invested in a possibility of having a life partner. Stakes were high for her as well.
Trap
They used “The Work” to hide behind rather than use “The Work” to aid in connecting to each other.
Solution
Confronting reality. Being honest with real feelings they had towards each other. Have the man simply court the woman.
Thursday, September 17, 2009
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